This is a tricky science. Frankly, the only thing that will help to perfect this will be time and experience. Keep living, keep experiencing, and keep on learning.
The Difference Between Regret & Dissapointment
Imagine a time when you looked back and thought “damn that was a really stupid move.”
Naturally, people pull out the R word. Regret.
You feel regret because at the back of your mind, you think that things could have turned out differently (or better) if your actions were different.
To be honest, this might be true. But how will you ever know?
That is why regret is dangerous territory. It stops us from wanting to try new things, or try things again.
Dissapointment, however, is when you know that your actions caused you or others some sort of dismay in their lives.
The key difference between the two is that with disspointment, you are wiling to stand strong and tell yourself what you did wrong, but unlike regret, not let it stop you from living and reaching your potential.
Every Experience is a Lesson
Whether you want to hear this cliché or not, it has to be said.
Both the best and worst days of your life will provide you with life lessons. In fact, everything you do in life, big or small, is a lesson.
The trick is how to recognize and grow from it.
One trick that I use is to look back every day, week, or month and take a mental note of all the things you did. The larger the time span, the less specific these events will be.
For example, Britany and I look back every week and ask ourselves what we learned. We might mention a small coffee date, or we could mention a life changing event.
The reason this works is because after a while, your brain will be trained to automatically learn from everything you do, instead of just aimlessly going through life.
Let it Fuel Your Growth, Not Your Downfall
Going off my last point about every thing in life being a lesson; make these lessons contribute to growth, and not the opposite.
You need to know that everything you do can be looked at as a stepping stool towards growth. Whether you get a promotion or you get fired, both can be looked at with optimism.
How? The promotion is easy, good for you! You being fired, however, can be looked at as a chance of greater freedom, or a chance to get that dream job you’ve always wanted.
Think positive, raise your head up, and keep moving forward.