[15 minute read]
No, this is not a children’s book about the basics of human connection. This post is a truthful, deep, and long-lasting piece on the art of true friendship. Most of the context in this post will be geared toward’s someone who wants a life that would be considered “against the grain” or “not normal”. This is for you.
As young children, we naturally tried to connect and be friends with every other kid in the school yard. Soon after, however, we realized that their was a hierarchy to this craft. There were the cool kids, the nerds, the outcasts, the skaters, and the clique. It was a simple blueprint and you could pretty much place each person into a friend bucket with 99% certainty.
As you grew even older, you grew apart from some people. Once high school was over, you really had no one else to call a close friend other than the people who shared common goals, interests, and passions. However, you might have a couple companions that have been with you through thick and thin. For whatever reason, you are still close with them. For the vast majority of people, however, you grew apart.
While this sounds negative, its a realization. As you grow and mature, you also find out who you really are. You get to know what you want with your life, who you want in it, and what kind of lifestyle you want to live. There is no right or wrong to these questions, they are merely questions that need answers. Keep in mind, however, the answers to these questions will change with time, experience, and exposure. This is not only okay, it is expected.
The key, however, is to be able to realize who is holding you back, and who is advancing you forward. This is where the elimination piece comes in (READ: Eliminating is The Key to Gaining).
Right now you’re probably thinking, “wow this dude wants me to ditch my friends and be self centred for the rest of my life”.
There is a difference between ditching “friends” and liberating yourself from people, in this context, who hold you back from true potential.
The most confusing and hard part about all this is that neither you or your friends might have any idea that this road block is actually occurring. Most of the time, it’s silent. Of course, if someone in your life blatantly tells you to stop doing something, thats a direct challenge. The trickier part is when you actually love being with your friends, but are maybe not aware of the invisible handcuffs that are holding you back.
So, how do I tackle this?
Start by figuring out what you want with your life. You can’t possibly start to take action without a goal. The Apollo missions didn’t spend millions or dollars and thousands of work hours without figuring out where they were going. They had a target.
Next, critically analyze who the people are that you spend most of your time with. While this post is about friends, the same principles can apply to friends, family, or co-workers.
Once you figure this out, start reach out to these people. Although tough, have a straight up conversation with them. If this is too difficult, message them somehow. In either case, explain to them what you about to embark on in your life, and why you need to focus on yourself more for the time being. They will either be okay with it, or completely repulsed by it. This will make your transition a lot easier.
From there, see how things go and monitor your interactions with these people. Have you gained new friends? Have you progressed at all? If not, why not? If so, keep going.
Again, this post is for the ones that want something different and strange. It’s for you, the person who thinks that doing what society does is the last thing you want to do. It’s a bold, courageous, and scary life that you want to live, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.